Let me tell you ladies something about leadership: it is intensely skewed these days. From what I’ve viewed and experienced in my life, the MOST CAPABLE leaders in the world are often highly unaware of it, and highly underutilized. Leadership has, in recent years, taken a very unfortunate form. I’m aware of this because I have experienced it in almost every job I’ve had leading up to the current position I’m in (which, thankfully, has excellent leaders and a fantastic work environment).
Leadership today is largely defined by bad behavior. The people that yell, belittle, patronize, complain, and place impossible expectations on others are the ones that make up a large portion of management in the workforce these days.
If you are a Real Girl, and you believe in who you are, this can be rather discouraging. Because true leadership has nothing to do with these qualities. Being assertive is not the same as being overbearing. Being confident is not the same as being cocky. Being a delegator is not the same as being a dictator.
The latter of each example seems to be the norm these days, and it leads to very difficult work environments where it’s extremely hard for the TRUE leaders to stand out and make progress to the position that fits them best. And it’s especially difficult for you girls. Because both men and women exhibit these poor behaviors, but for women in particular, oftentimes being assertive is perceived as being overbearing. Sometimes when a woman is appropriately confident, she is said to be cocky. When she is effectively delegating, others call her a dictator.
Please understand that you have no less capability than anyone else in this world to find that line between being a dictator and a pushover. In fact, you likely have far MORE capability to be a great leader than most people in your life have ever credited to you. This is why it’s so important OWN and BELIEVE in who you are. Because once you reach that point, the interpretations of others don’t matter anymore, and you can begin to grow, interact confidently as your true self with others, and show them why they are wrong. The opinions of others may never change, but knowing who you are can give you the ability to make strides beyond the limitations presented to you by others.
So focus your mind and your energy on positive leadership qualities. The ones likely already brewing naturally inside you, and which will simply take some attention and nurturing to reach their full potential.
One of my favorite bloggers in the ENTIRE WORLD is Erica Andersen who writes for Forbes.com. She is a brilliant leader and currently runs a consulting business where she works with other business executives to help them see how many of their more self-focused and bottom-line-focused behaviors are actually stunting the growth of their organizations. I find her perspective and insight to be a breath of fresh air.
In her recent post, “3 Qualities That Define The Natural Leader – Do You Have Them?”, she gives a short laundry-list of the top qualities of fantastic leaders:
Amazing, wonderful girls. There are those in the world that would have you believe that you cannot develop these qualities. That they are not natural to women, or to people at your level in the workplace, or to people with your income, or people your age, with your upbringing, with your level of education, blah, blah, blah…
It is important to acknowledge to yourself when one of these people is attempting to limit you by one of these factors. Then tell them either vocally or to yourself that they are WRONG and remind yourself of all the reasons why you have the incredible ability to emulate every single one of these attributes. Then do it. Practice it. BE the person you dream of being.
And make some mistakes along the way. Every trustworthy person was once untrustworthy. Every wise person was once naive. Every far-sighted person was once impulsive.
Begin your journey today. If you feel you are destined for leadership, or for mentorship, or for changing the world, embrace that courage and hold it strong inside you. No one else can take it away; they will only lose the opportunity to gain greater perspective, love, and confidence by underestimating a person willing to achieve their unlimited potential.
Be You. Be an Amazing Leader. Lead with boldness, courage, and passion. And don’t let anyone convince you that you are anything less than limitless in your endeavors.
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