I’m just gonna jump right into it (because I usually stall?). There’s this fancy little pop culture acronym that I use a LOT. It just comes in really handy in moments of shock, anger, frustration, or just normal aliveness. You know this chica as well, I’m sure, it’s our good ol’ buddy:
We’ve become good friends over the years; she’s always there for me when I need her. She’s always nearby when I get bad news. She’s always there to scoff when I hear a weird idea that would never work (or maybe come up with one on my own…). And she and I had a pretty committed relationship going there for a while about two years ago when I took the pregnancy test that resulted in my second child….
But, I’m afraid our time together has come to a close. WTF: I’m breaking up with you. It’s not me, it’s you. You’ve been great, but you’re just not enough anymore. I’ve found another companion; one that I intend to become good friends with AND introduce to all my other friends so they will LOVE her and then she becomes SO popular that she even starts out-hashtagging you on TWITTER!! She’s gonna be huge.
Meet my friend: #WTFnot.
Sorry, that’s just what she goes by for short. Her full name is: #whythefucknot.
See, life has this weird way of throwing unexpected changes, or news, or feelings (or children) at me when I least expect it and the age-old spazzy tense-muscled shock-inducing WTF?? response just isn’t gonna cut it anymore. I’m upgrading you to the newer model that changes insanity and impossibility into acceptance at the very least, and embracement at the very best.
Jane, you suck at underwater basket weaving; find a new hobby.
Jane, you’re fired, you’re going to have to find another job.
Jane, you’re pregnant with quadruplets.
Jane, you’re dead.
See? I like this chick! I think she’ll be around for a while. I’m sure you’ll find someone else, WTF, you really do serve a good purpose, after all. I just feel I’ve grown out of you. We will miss each other at first, but eventually we will move on and learn that we are better off without each other. As much as it hurts, this is where my road is taking me.
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